So, tonight the results of the 2017 UK general election will be revealed. Various news channels will tour the country via satellite as various spokespersons reveal the results of their local vote. Sounds familiar right? Maybe it is time for general elections to stop pretending and fully embrace the Eurovision voting madness. We just need to make a few small changes…
“NOT ANOTHER ONE!”
The United Kingdom made Brenda from Bristol their hero following her reaction to Theresa May announcing a snap election a few months ago. “NOT ANOTHER ONE” Brenda exclaimed. “Why does she have to do it?”. After so many elections and referendums in the past few years, bringing the excitement of Eurovision to the general election is exactly what we need.
"NOT ANOTHER ONE!"
— Jon Kay (@jonkay01) April 18, 2017
The executive supervisor of the general election…
So the voting has ended, but we need to make sure all of the votings has taken place according to the rules. After all, this election will be the second biggest decision made this year in the UK… after choosing Salvador Sobral as the Eurovision winner that is. We imagine Jon Ola Sand will be too busy to executively supervise this contest so step up David Dimbleby. He has anchored the BBC coverage of every general election that has taken place in the past 38 years, if anyone knows a general election inside out it’s David! Here’s a look back at David’s career on Radio Times.
And the hosts!
But who’s going to “anchor” the coverage of the results if David is stuck in the “EBU” pod? Well, we can just head over to the green room for some very in-depth interviews while David heads to the stage to host as well! That just means we need a green room host…
Sky’s Kay Burley is well-known for getting the interviews other journalists fail to get. She has been an ever-present in Sky’s general election coverage for several years now and has earned a reputation for being that little bit controversial. So the perfect person to get those reactions from Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn right?
Time for the voting to begin!
Now it’s time for the voting to begin! No need for this “Labour 34,000 votes”, “Conservative 56,000 votes” business that isn’t even in ascending order. Where’s the excitment in that? Let’s change this to points!
“And the 12 points from Maidenhead (forgive the typo in the photo!) go to… Theresa May!”
“And the 12 points from Islington North go to… Jeremy Corbyn!”
…”And the 12 points from Brighton Pavilion go to… Jonathan Bartley and Caroline Lucas of the Green Party!”
“And the 12 points from Edinburgh go to… Labour!” The Scottish National Party are in shock…
(Credit to Luke Malam for the images!)
Much better! Now, there are 650 constituencies in the UK to visit which would make for quite the long results show. As it stands, the last votes often don’t arrive until well over 12 hours after voting closes at 10pm. (10pm voting deadline in the UK, that’s very familiar too isn’t it…) Well, us Eurovision fans don’t mind a long voting sequence, do we? After all, we long for the days were more than just the 12 points were given out.
Time for some television magic
Or perhaps we just need to combine lots of the later votes into one pot? Theresa and Jeremy’s fate all hanging on one reveal? Television magic I’m sure you’ll agree…
Of course, while this is all fun and games, general elections are a serious business and to have the opportunity to cast our vote is something to be proud of. Therefore, we hope that everyone in the UK went out and used their vote today! The actual results of the general election will take place from 10pm on BBC, ITV and Sky News and continue throughout the night.
Do you think general election results need to be a little more Eurovision? Have you been out to vote today? Let us know your thoughts in the comments section below and via our social media channels @ESCXTRA!